


Worse Than Hell

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 14:19:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: With her car in the garage, Tommy agrees to help Barbara run an errand





	Worse Than Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

“Remind me again exactly why we are doing this?”

Barbara gave me a look of frustration. “We are doing this because my car is in the garage, yet again, and you offered. You could have waited in the car.”

“And done what exactly?”

“I don’t know, whatever it is that earls do with their downtime. Check their stock portfolio perhaps?”

I rolled my eyes at her, and she stuck out her tongue in return.

“So mature Barbara.”

“I thought so. Shall we get on?”

“Please. The sooner we start this hellish experience the sooner we’ll finish.”

“Grab a trolley then.”

“A trolley? How much are you planning on buying?”

“It’s my monthly shop, and you know I can’t cook so it will all be ready meals that I can throw from the freezer into the microwave.”

“But we eat at the pub most nights.”

“And?” Barbara’s expression challenged me to say anything further.

“Nothing. Do you have a list?”

“Yes; in my head.”

I muttered under my breath, but gritted my teeth and tried to smile. “Lead on then.”

I trailed behind Barbara as she headed for the freezer section. Although I was protesting, and I really did hate shopping, I enjoyed spending time with her out of work, and it made a change to be doing something normal that didn’t involve heading to a pub. 

“You do know you could order your shopping online and have it delivered?”

“With our jobs? I’d be forever rearranging the delivery date, unless you feel like loaning me Denton.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind popping round and putting your shopping away if it was needed, but you’d have to make sure there were no knickers in untoward places, he does embarrass easily.”

She playfully pushed me, “you are never going to let me forget that, are you?”

“No, it amused me. None of the women I knew would ever have done something like that.”

“Probably because they don’t do their own washing, don’t know where the kitchen is, or don’t wear knickers!”

“Barbara! Really!”

“I dare you to stand there with a straight face and tell me that none of what I just said was true.”

“I can’t, but is this really the conversation to have in the freezer section of Asda?”

“I don’t see why not. Haven’t you ever visited the website People of Walmart?”

I shook my head.

“Thinking about it, you’re more likely to visit Overheard in Waitrose!”

I shook my head again, “I really have no idea what you are talking about.”

Barbara started to load her trolley with an assortment of frozen dinners. “Well, when we get back to mine I will educate you.”

“Is that a promise?”

“To educate you on amusing websites?”

“To educate me? Yes, but not necessarily about amusing websites.”

“What else could I educate an Eton and Oxford alumni about?”

“Swear words? The reheating of unappetising reconstituted cardboard ready meals?”

“Keep being cheeky and you may get a one-to-one lesson in Aikido.”

By now we had moved from the freezer section and were heading towards the checkouts.

“Oh, so you want to grapple with me so we both end up hot and sweaty?”

Now it was Barbara’s turn to look shocked. “I can’t believe you just said that Sir.”

“Why? I’ve seen you doing Aikido and it looked very, what’s the word I’m looking for, oh yes, physical.”

Barbara blushed deeply, and I had to look away so that she didn’t see me trying not to smile. I loved it when I managed to fluster her, she was normally so shrewd and together. 

“Perhaps we should drop my shopping off and then head to your place.”

“My place? Why my place?”

“You have more space to get physical.”

I turned back to face her to find she was grinning broadly. I saluted her, “touché!” 

“Touché.”

We packed up the shopping, paid, and then headed out to the car. I loaded the bags into the boot and then set off for Barbara’s flat.

~*~

I carried Barbara’s bags into the flat and dumped them onto the kitchen table.

“Thanks for helping me Sir. I know that most men think shopping is something akin to hell on earth, so it was kind of you to do it. You need to let me know how much I owe you for petrol.”

“I don’t want petrol money for doing a friend a favour.”

“I have to give you something.”

“You promised me an Aikido lesson.”

“I was joking!”

“So, you don’t want to get hot, sweaty and physical with me at my house? I am so disappointed.”

Barbara slammed the freezer door shut and turned to face me, the look on her face reminding me of a lion sizing up a particularly tasty gazelle. She stalked closer, pushing me to sit in one of her kitchen chairs and straddling my lap.

“I never said that, I just said I was joking about the Aikido lesson.”

I swallowed deeply, my body responding to her closeness as it had done on numerous previous occasions, I’d just made sure she’d never noticed.

“Unless of course **you** were joking.”

I slid my arms around her, pulling her closer. “Never.”

“Because if you had been I would currently be making a complete idiot of myself.”

“You’re not.”

She leaned down, her lips nearly touching mine, “good.”

~*~

“I’ve had an idea how to solve your shopping dilemma.”

Barbara was lying on her tummy, her chin resting on my chest as she looked up at me through her lashes.

“I didn’t realise I had one.”

“Your not being able to order your shopping online for delivery dilemma. You could move in with me, then there would only be one lot of shopping, and Denton would be there to receive it and put it away. I’d even buy an extra freezer to store all your wonderfully nutritious meals.”

“Hmmm, it would be convenient.”

“And I’m all for convenience.”

“I thought as much, because me moving in would mean I was conveniently at hand whenever you felt the urge to get hot and sweaty again.”

“Would that be a bad thing?”

“Definitely not.”

“Are we agreed then?”

“You’re not just suggesting this so you never have to go to Asda with me again?”

“There is that, but no, I want you to move in with me because that’s what people in love do.”

“Then I’ll move in with you.”

I rolled us so that she was underneath me. Cradling her face in my hands I bent down and kissed her. “I love you Barbara Havers.”

“That’s good, because it appears that I love you too. Now, shall we start packing or…”

“The packing can wait until later; much, much, much later.”


End file.
